Hot take: guys should not have to pay for dinner before Sweetheart

Normally, guys should fit the bill, but Sweetheart is different

Sweetheart, the first big dance of the school year. Girls and guys alike get dressed up for the big night. However, the big difference is that the Sunshine Society members, who are only girls, ask guys to the dance. This one little aspect to the dance is one that leaves gender expectations open for discussion.

Hypothetically, if I really liked a girl and I asked her to go on a date with me, I would pay for her meal. I like her. I want to impress her. And, the most important reason I would pay for her dinner is because I asked her to go with me on the date. Since I asked for her company and time, I feel it is my duty to pay. 

The Sweetheart Dance, on the other hand, is completely different. Sweetheart should be the complete opposite. The girls ask the guys to the dance. If you go out to eat before, the girls who asked guys to be their dates should pay for dinner.

Usually, if I am going to a dance with a friend, I would be completely okay with paying separately and just paying for my own meal. That is exactly what I did this year. My Sweetheart group had eight girls with eight dates. The guys paid for all the girls’ meals except for me. The guys gave me a lot of grief for it and I understand why. They believe that under no circumstance should a girl pay for a guy. They follow the standard set forth from centuries ago that part of chivalry included guys picking up the tab for a meal. I just think my reasons for not paying outweigh the reasons they gave me: “being a gentleman,”  “the guy should always pay” and “I paid because I appreciate her asking me.” 

If the guys had to ask the girls, would the girls pay for the meal because they appreciate the guys asking? No … they would not. I heard that even in the past Sweetheart dances that girls used to pay because the girls asked the guys to the dance. What changed? Maybe it was just my group that did this. I just feel like it is almost rude to ask someone to come with you to something and then expect that person to pay for it just because of your gender. 

When it comes to a dance where there are reversed roles of girls asking guys, I think girls should be the ones to pay when it comes to the dance. The most important reason being because the girls have to ask the guys, and if you ask someone on a date, you should pay no matter what gender you are. 

Again, this only applies to me regarding Sweetheart. I was raised to always pay for the girl’s meal no matter what, and I go by that in any other circumstance. I do not think I am the only one around here that feels that way and more students agree with me than one would imagine. Just imagine, if Sweetheart were different and guys asked girls, would the expectations be different – that the girls’ would pay for dinner before the dance?