Kyla Frizzell

It is not a shock to anyone that high schoolers experience their fair shares of struggles throughout the four years. Students struggle with academic validation, gossip, relationships, peer pressure and all the usual conflicts that come with becoming an adult. And, it is a long list of conflicts. However, the struggle I do not hear many people acknowledge is how many students have to deal with school on top of grief. 

One of the worst things about grief is it is not something you can always see. Grief is not an emotion that is as clear as anger, frustration or sadness. It is everything and nothing, all at once. One day, you may be able to come to school and laugh like normal, as if nothing had changed. The next day, it might be a challenge to even get out of bed. 

I lost a very close family member in October of 2025. I spent about a week’s worth of school at home, grieving with my family. Once I had returned to school, things were different – but not in a visible way. When you lose someone close, your priorities change. You start to think about how little some things matter in the bigger picture: my grades, for example.

I have always been a student who struggled with academic validation and wanted an A on every assignment. But, returning to school, something as meaningless as a lower grade in a class did not phase me. Do not get me wrong, I still strive to be the best student I can. Because, grades do matter. However, when looking at someone who has had the worst possible thing that can happen to them happen, do not let it be a surprise that something so little does not upset them.

Another thing people might not think about is that, after a few weeks, or maybe even a few months, other people might not think about it anymore. “Grieving” does not feel like a valid excuse after a short period of time, even if that feeling is still there. You may still want to talk about it, or even if you do not, you cannot stop thinking about it. It is the sort of concept that you can not fully grasp until you are experiencing it. 

A hard lesson to learn when battling grief is knowing that even though your life is completely altered, it still goes on. You still have to come to school, socialize, study for that big test you have coming up, and act as if nothing has changed. In my opinion, that was the hardest lesson I had to learn.

But you do get through it. Emotions are temporary, even if it feels like they are going to be with you forever. The best thing you can do is acknowledge it while still continuing to move forward.

Another thing that I was very adamant on after losing my cousin was ways that I was going to remember him. I think that is a huge part of healing. In remembrance of him, many members of my family and I got dinosaur tattoos as well as Build-A-Bears with his heartbeat. So, if you are ever struggling with finding a way to stay positive, try to see what ways you can celebrate the person you have lost. 

There is no cure to grief, no timeline for grieving and there also is not any one way of getting through it. So, if you are experiencing it now, and you are overwhelmed with the weight of it all, know there are plenty of other people around you who might be feeling the same way, and it is never too far after the incident to ask for help.